the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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