I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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