ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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