I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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