remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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