Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
