My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
