You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
