so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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