so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
