roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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