you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am available for nakedness
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
