he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
