dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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