A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize