i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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