i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you never un-have a 4some
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
