i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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