Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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