Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
