it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
