Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
