He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am available for nakedness
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
