Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
