If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
