He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Please don't give away my fajitas
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