your room smells of hookers.
And success
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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