4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
