Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have feelings that need drinking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
