He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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