I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
