can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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