After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize