That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
