I'm eating all of the evidence.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
