So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize