Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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