Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just pee around me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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