I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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