Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Life is so much better after having sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
