Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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