Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
