i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize