I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
