So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
