worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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