whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
