What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize