They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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