I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My butt remains clenched, sir.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
