normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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