Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
