your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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