U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
