i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize