Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
