i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
