the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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