What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
