Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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