Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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