Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
