Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
